


Opossum

by tmo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Curses, Fluff, Inspired by Corpse Bride (2005), M/M, Underworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26983042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmo/pseuds/tmo
Summary: Practicing your wedding vows under a dying tree and don't think you can go through an arranged marriage?No problem!Call 1-800-DED-4YOU for a limited time offer of one dead husband. He may have a hole in his head but don't let that fool you. With hundreds of hours worth of knowledge and a quirky personality, your dead husband will love you unconditionally and keep you from marrying that countess your parents chose for you! Act fast, these puppies are flying out of their caskets.*cupholders sold separately**by calling 1-800-DED-4YOU you agree to the terms and conditions which include but are not limited to: marriage to the undead, one-way ticket to the underworld and sudden boosts of dopamine which could lead to true love.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	Opossum

**Author's Note:**

> Should I be doing other things? Like sleeping?  
> Eh

“I don’t suppose you have room for two?” Iruka nervously asked the man sitting at the worn but well-kept piano.

The slowly, careless playing stopped and Kakashi cocked his head to Iruka in surprise. Neither of them had expected Iruka to return after what he’d woken up to. Iruka least of all expected to find himself back in the colourful bar he’d first opened his eyes to. This time, all Kakashi’s friends had left to party elsewhere or whatever else the dead did while drinking.

It was a little easier to process everything once the singing and yelling had died down. Well, died in the metaphorical sense this time. 

Iruka found that the streets of the underworld were much more colourful than he could ever imagine. They were so much more bright and cheery than the dull towns of the living world he was used to. There was so much to explore and see but Iruka found himself standing in front of the first dead man he had ever met, hopefully watching his face for any sign of acknowledgement or acceptance. Well, he watched what was left of his face, at least. 

The hole where one of his eyes had been wasn't pleasant to stare at for too long. Kakashi's good eye was much more pleasing, especially the way he looked away shyly as he made space for Iruka on the bench next to him.

The peaceful quiet that had started was slowly filled with music. That was something they at least had in common. Other than music, they were complete strangers.

“If I can be quite frank, I didn’t expect anyone to come along,” Kakashi finally said into the empty bar and Iruka looked at him in surprise as his fingers faltered on the keys. They slowed in their melody and Iruka watched the way the light through the stained glass chandelier waved across his sunken features. How Kakashi seemed so deeply sad and yet was putting on a polite face. "I've never been a very vengeful person so… when I vowed to lay there, I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind."

"Well, you were dying," Iruka added with a shrug. "I don't think anyone would be rational if they were shot by their best friend."

They shared a soft smile until Kakashi looked away shyly. Despite his height and moth-eaten tuxedo, Iruka could still see the quiet man underneath and was more than intrigued. 

"If you don't mind my asking, why did you even agree to meet him in the woods?" Iruka carefully asked, having heard the legend over and over again over the past few hours. Gai the dead sailor had been singing sea shanties he'd written about their lives all night. While they were entertaining and very catchy, Iruka couldn't help but wonder why Kakashi would abandon his fiancé to meet his best friend in the middle of the woods. Iruka didn't know Kakashi all that well but in the little time he'd know Kakashi, he didn't feel he was the type to just skirt his promises without good reason.

He watched as Kakashi took a moment to answer, his fingers absent-mindedly rolling Iruka's ring on his undead hand.

"I think it was because I thought I was in love with him." Kakashi shrugged and gave Iruka a quirk of his lips. "Until he murdered me and married my fiancé, of course."

Before an awkward silence could fall on them, Iruka tried to lighten the mood. "Have all your relationships ended so poorly?"

After a scoff and a few chuckles between them, Kakashi admitted through the whistle in his skeletal throat, "Since that was my only relationship, yes."

"Oh."

In the silence that followed, Iruka didn't feel any animosity or rage coming from Kakashi. There was a sense of sadness but it was seemingly fading. Even as he handed over Iruka's ring, he smiled with his one good eye. "I hope your engagement goes well though. Hopefully, you'll be able to get back to them soon."

Rolling his ring in thought, Iruka couldn't help but feel reluctant about going back. "Hmm, I doubt Anko would wait for me. Not that I blame her. She was almost more eager than me to get out."

"How long have you been engaged to her?"

Iruka winced at the suspicious question. "A week."

"Only a week?" Kakashi reeled back in shock and Iruka laughed at how his only eyebrow rose impossibly high.

"In the world of arranged marriages, it's actually quite long."

Kakashi playfully narrowed his eyes at Iruka. "And when was the big day?"

Iruka shrunk, holding back his laughter. "In a week."

"So… the gestation period of an opossum."

"What?"

"Opossum. They are pregnant for two weeks and then you have baby opossum."

Iruka scoffed. "Wh… how do you even know that?"

With a blink and a shrug of his dusty coat, Kakashi said, "I like to read… liked… no, I still like to read."

"So, you've read about animal pregnancies?"

"I've read about everything." Kakashi squirmed and frowned. "You make it sound like I went looking for this information."

Through his laughter, Iruka managed to say, "I'm not! I'm just wondering what else you know about woodland creatures."

"Enough for you to keep making fun of me," Kakashi rebutted back with a fond smile.

"I'm not making fun of you. I'm impressed that you know so much. It's quite intriguing," Iruka said and he realized too late that he had been perhaps too truthful. With the look of surprise Kakashi gave him though, Iruka didn't regret it.

"Thank you," Kakashi replied with the same gleam in his eye.

In the fond silence that followed, they tapped again at a key or two. Somehow, Iruka had found himself in a colourful bar in the underworld. Next to him was the corpse of a man whose body had been hidden away in the woods, the same woods Iruka had gone only a few hours before to practice his wedding vows.

Technically speaking, they weren't married. But what made someone a husband? What was marriage but an exchange of vows? 

Iruka had vowed under a dead tree to love and hold forever in the same spot Kakashi vowed with his dying breath to wait for his true love. It was an impossible meeting and yet Iruka couldn't help but find himself more at home here in the land of the dead than he did with the land of the living.

"It will probably be a while before Doctor Orochimaru can find me a way out of here," Iruka started shyly. "I hope you don't mind my company for at least a while."

Kakashi with his skin tinted blue and his one skeletal hand gave Iruka the warmest smile he had ever received then.

"As long as you don't mind being my husband for a while."

Through his blushing cheeks, Iruka grinned. "I don't mind at all."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small peak into this world~  
> Adored Corpse Bride growing up because I was and always will be a sap for gothic romances  
> Anyway, maybe I'll put out some other spooky fics this season~ Any requests~?


End file.
